The teen-bride, who has long been the subject of plastic surgery rumors (most notable is the rumor that her mother allowed her to have a breast augmentation when she was only sixteen; a rumor that was supposedly disproved during her Dr. Drew appearance) and her actor husband (considering what this marriage did to his career, we should call him a “former actor”) have announced that they’ll be shooting a reality show…ugh. Since coming on to the scene with her plastic good looks that aren’t plastic and her sexy attitude that isn’t sexy, Stodden has acted exactly like you would think she’d act (like an idiot), and this reality show is just another chance for her and her supposedly-real breasts (we really can’t believe that they’re not implants) to make a fool of themselves.
Expect Stodden and Hutchison to act just like they’ve been acting on the reality show: Stodden will behave like a teenage girl trying to be sexy when her only idea of “sexy” comes from the internet, and Hutchison to act like an old guy trying to humor young girl’s bad senses of taste and humor because he’s into her and isn’t sure which one of them is the uncool one. With all that said Celebrity Plastic Surgery Surveyors, the show should be a train-wreckin’ good time!
Breaking News: Courtney Stodden To Come Clean
There comes a time in every great debate when proof must be provided. Whether it be Brown V. Board of Education, Roe V. Wade, or Nature Vs. Nurture. Now another great American debate enters the proof-stage: Are Courtney Stodden’s boobs real? Aparently she gets an ultrasound on tommorow’s episode of Dr. Drew’s Life Changers to prove that her breasts are all natural. Oh by the way, in case you’ve spent this entire article wondering, “Who the hell is Courtney Stodden, and why is she Breaking News?”; she’s the 17 year old who married 51 year old actor Doug Hutchison, who thinks she some kind of model , who constantly tweets things that sound like lines from 70′s hippie adult-films, and who makes the same borderline bells-palsy face in an attempt to look sexy in every picture she ever takes; and this is breaking news because it’s Sunday and we say so. Either way, we’ll keep you posted on the results.
Courtney Stodden: …Again??
Well folks, we’re basically just liars now. We’ve said time and time again that we would stop writing about Courtney Stodden, but here we are doing it again. If you don’t know, Courtney Stodden is Doug Hutchison’s wife…who he married when she was only a child…he was an actor…really, if you don’t know this you clearly are on the wrong website. So yes, we are in fact writing yet another article about Courtney Stodden’s perplexing looks, because she’s changed them yet again, and this time she might have actually given us some answers to all the questions everyone asks about her. Her breasts are still a mystery, as they’re very fake looking and appear to have come out of nowhere (photos of her from merely a year before she entered the public eye seem to show her with much smaller breasts), but were alledgedly proven real when they were scanned as part of a segment on Dr. Drew’s television show. However, the rumors about her facial plastic surgery may finally be put to bed thanks to some new pictures that she recently posted to twitter.
Previously, it’s been rumored that Stodden, who also recently announced that her and her husband were to star in a reality show, has had multiple plastic surgery procedures performed on her face. These procedures include a nose job (rhinoplasty to give her her thin and pointed nose), cheek implants to give her the high-cheekboned she wears so “provocatively”, and all sorts of injections in her lips and face. However, we here at Celebrity Plastic Surgery have always been of the mindset that Stodden is merely a silly young lady who has an inaccurate idea of what sexy is, and therefore coates her face in copious amounts of make-up; enough make-up to make her entire face seem fake. We like to think that these new photos, which show her obviously wearing less face paint, prove our theory.
Some of her more harsh critics have said the exact opposite, pointing out that her new look is the result of more plastic surgery, but we think that the lack of gunk on her face makes her features seem a lot more natural. The new pictures show her with a nose that doesn’t look fake, lips that look real, and skin that looks natural. She’s still wearing a bit too much make-up, but not enough to give her a synthetic look. We did notice though, that her teeth look a bit different than before; they’re more white and a little more straight, which leads us to believe that she’s recently had veneers. Overall, her new look makes it far more beleivable that she’s just barely eighteen, as she no longer looks like a thirty year old stripper who works the day shift at a club in Omaha, but instead looks like a little girl wearing too much make-up. It’s strange that the latter description is a compliment, but it is.
Like we said before, we have no idea whether her breasts are real or the result of a breast augmentation, because they have the shape and hang of fake breasts, but they’re been proven real and are attached to a very in-shape young woman who is right around the age when breasts can defy logic. However, we are now totally sure that her face hasn’t had any plastic surgery performed on it whatsoever. So, Courtney Stodden has new teeth, and her breasts are a total enigma, but her face is all hers.
The Results Are; Courtney Stodden Is Real…And Still Insane
Well we’ll be damned. As we previously reported, everybody’s favorite borderline-insane teen bride went on Dr. Drew’s Life Changers to prove once and for all that her breasts were not the result of plastic surgery. How was she going to do this? By getting an ultrasound of course! So the episode aired on Monday, and whada-ya-know, her breasts are real. The suspicions that they weren’t genuine arose from the surfacing of pictures from just a few years ago, in which she lacked her currently large bustline. However, no one is suspicious anymore (at least not about her boobs, we still think that she might be clinically insane), as the ultrasound, which at first appeared to prove her critics right, proved us all wrong upon further inspection. We’re going to guess that she just had a really big growth spurt, which makes sense since she’s still a teenager (tho she speaks like a 45 year old divorced stripper having an acid trip). So Courtney Stodden’s boobs are real…can we please stop talking about her now?
